wrapping it up

As we get to the end of the year, I never thought that it will be such a hard New Year’s Eve. My father-in-law-to-be fights against cancer since spring. Since it was the third cancer diagnose in his life the doctors never were able to say how this might end, if he ever can beat the cancer (again) or if he have to live with the fact of frequent chemotherapy.

Since the diagnose we saw the subtle change for the worse. First it was only bower cancer with a few liver metastasis. Than a few weeks ago the doctors found out that there were less than ever liver metastasis. Of course there had to be a but… But there has grown a huge liver tumor and his anticipated average life has shrunk on a few months – maybe three, maybe less.

So christmas came and all were glad that he was home for christmas. It was hard. It was emotionally hard. So much tears. Everyone had known – it will be the last christmas like that. Two days later he felt not that good and he wanted to go to the hospital – just to check everything. They kept him. They told us that his readings are worse and that he will make it only a few days. Since that day he is in hospital and we have to fear every day and every night. My phone is always turned on – as loud as possible. We will spent the New Year’s Eve in hospital. I bought some Martini Asti and party bombs. But what can we celebrate? I can’t wish a happy new year. It will not be a happy one. It will be a dark one. So what can you wish at 0:00? More patience and more energy?

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